I’m a feminist and proud of it.

I believe in equal rights for women...wait, I’m not done yet….and men.

The Merriam dictionary defines feminism as “a theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes”.
The problem today with feminism is instead of being associated with the equality of sexes, it is used as a tool for man-bashing, privilege-seeking, and getting away with whatever you want do irrespective of whether it hurts others sentiments or sensibilities.

You cannot call yourself a feminist when you expect a man to give up his seat on the bus for you when you are healthy enough to stand. Seats should be offered to old people, pregnant women, women with small kids, on the basis of health and other valid reasons. If you cannot accept equal treatment on the bus, how could you ask for gender equality in other spheres of your life?

Feminism is not an excuse to walk around topless. Of course, no human being has the right to abuse another emotionally or physically, but you cannot provoke, and not expect a reaction.

Would you walk around the shady part of your town flashing your new iPhone6? Rich or poor we should all have equal rights to flaunt our wealth, right? Good luck convincing the cops of that after you get mugged.

So, why is feminism so hard?

Because, it is easy.

It is very easy to use it as an excuse rather than a cause.

Consider an analogy. Lets take a college campus where the students live in a dorm. Everyday the males walk to class. Everyday there is a car waiting right outside the female’s dorm, which they can use to get to class. Of the 100 females on campus, 99 use the car every day. And 1 female turns it down every day and walks to class.

Because of using the car the 99 females have limited knowledge of campus geography. They don’t know the shortcuts. And they don’t have the physical strength to walk to class on a regular basis.

Now a position opens up for a campus guide and all the students apply. Every student claims equal familiarity with the campus. And each claims to be fit enough for the job.

But the men state that the women aren't fit enough and don’t have the same knowledge of the campus that they do. What they see are 99 females who use the car, and thus hide the 1 woman who actually walks to class everyday, is strong enough and knows the campus just as well as them.

The car here symbolizes pseudo feminism and all those who use it are the pseudo feminists. True feminism would be the act of turning down the car and walking like the guys.

And that’s why it’s so hard. Because feminism involves turning down the car at every second of your life. Turning down that bus seat. Getting down and dirty with the guys. And not crying sexism when you are not deserving.

There are a lot of instances in our world today where the car is needed. Metaphorically speaking you might be really sick one day and you genuinely need the transport. Just like that, there are a lot of places even today wheregirls are not sent to school, not safe on the streets and aren't afforded the same professional opportunities as boys. Here we need the car in the form of campaigns, funds, reservations, etc.

But it is those who hijack these initiatives for their own purposes who are dirtying the cause. Those who want the perks, but don’t want to work for it. It is because of such people that it is twice as hard to be a true feminist today. Because shortcuts are waiting around every corner, and it is very easy to misuse them. We have to go out of our way to prove that we are not being priviliged in any way. Be twice as good as the guys to get half the credit. Go around touting our accomplishments to be recognized for our talent and not our gender.

As Sheryl Sandberg says:

“While men are promoted based on potential, women get a leg up based on past accomplishments”

It is because of the abundance of females who use feminism as a crutch, that it has taken on such a negative connotation. This is why people today, shy away from the label “feminist”, because of what it has come to represent.

Please do not judge a cause, because of the actions of its “supposed” proponents. We have a real need for equality.

The pseudo-feminists crying for equality is the reason why we have more prejudice against women, than ever before.

It is very hard to turn down the car and walk everyday. And even if you occasionally succumb to temptation, as long as you realize the unfair advantage for what it is, you are on the right path. In my opinion if you are not abusing or misusing the cause,then you are a champion of the cause.

To all the feminists out there, walking to class each day, Kudos and thanks for your efforts.

To everyone else, if you can’t turn down the car, don’t claim to walk. We don’t need you drowning out the true feminists.